Viewing posts tagged i can only apologise
6 years, 7 months ago
Here are a few of the fortunes I devised during my first week as a writer of fortunes at Trang's Fortune Cookies Ltd:
YOU ARE CURRENTLY BALD. THIS IS A MISTAKE.
OBEY THE WISDOM OF THE FROG. HE KNOWS.
LOOK NOT TO THE RIGHT NOR TO THE LEFT BUT SIMPLY DO.
KEEP IT SIMPLE. COMPLEXITY KILLS.
HAPPY THE MAN WHO KNOWS NOTHING OF CHEESE.
STARSKY AND HUTCH, I SUMMON YOU.
I LOVE YOUR EARS, MY LITTLE FRIEND.
Mr Trang speaks no English, but he pops his head round my office door every day and expresses his benevolent interest in my work by means of gestures and facial expressions. I show him my work book. I concoct something in the region of 500 fortunes a day. More, on a good day. Mr Trang cannot read them but he casts his eyes over my work politely. He smiles and nods encouragingly. Sometimes he bows and mimes applause. I smile back, bow in return and mime modest shrugs. This appears to please him and he leaves.
I came to work at Trang's after losing my job at the Ministry ...