X Marks the Shit

?”You need to see X-Men First Class Jack, you’ll love it, I promise!”

Nope. Sorry.

Fassbender spends the movie auditioning to take over from Daniel Craig. Kevin Bacon excepted, none of the others can act at all.

The Cuban Missile Crisis is fidgeted with to the point of incomprehensibility. The Russians send missiles to Cuba despite a full US Naval blockade… because one general has been threatened… and this makes the entire politburo accede to nuclear suicide? Well, I guess that’s why their culture produces mutants that look like Satan.

It’s the usual reactionary farrago of lies.

The standard crap about how homo sapiens wiped out the Neanderthals is repeated yet again. It’s an obsession of pseudo-thoughtful pop-culture and it’s a lie. Nobody knows how homo sapiens and Neanderthal man interacted. There is no data. That the null hypothesis of capitalist culture is that homo sapiens went on a genocidal killing rampage tells you more about capitalism than about homo sapiens.

And the Nazi war criminal goes to work for the Russians, which is another lie. The ex-Nazis all went to work for the West. West Germany was run by ex-Nazis, a couple of cosmetic dissidents aside.

And, once again, evolution is depicted as teleological and going in ‘stages’ and quantum jumps, which is barely-disguised social darwinism. What makes this all the more revolting is the moralising about Magneto’s supposed evil… for doing something so scandalous as to defend himself when attacked! Oh, what a twisted bastard!

And what exactly is Raven/Mystique’s problem? So, her default setting is blue and scaly… so what? I’d have that as a default setting if I could make myself look however I wanted the rest of the time!

AND this film, which takes a moment here and there to jab at 60s-style sexism, takes every opportunity to get the female cast semi-naked! Fucking hypocrites.

Oh yeah, AND the only black character dies half way through the film – what a fucking shock! That hardly ever happens in movies!