The Victory of the Commenters
All righty. Our contest winners, though first, some honorable mentions, all of which get good old fashioned Marvel Comics No Prizes. I decided to get a little soft and not disqualify people for dropping either definite article. This was brutal to judge. Well played to everyone.
First off, the Rulebreakers division, where the prize goes to Lewis Christian for Lett’s Kill Pertwee.
Next, the Rude division, where we have three contenders. The bronze No Prize goes to Matthew Blanchette’s impressively awful The Fapping of the Worm, itself a modification of Tony Macklin’s The Tapping of the Wire. The silver goes to overflowontology’s Feast of the Merkins after Matthew Blanchette’s The Terror of the Mirkins, itself a modification of overflowontology’s work. And the gold No Prize goes to IG’s modification of prandeamus’s suggestion, The Wind of the Slitheen. Excellent work, you sick bastards.
Next, the Literary Theory division, which has two prizes. Like any good piece of literary theory, or, for that matter, good piece of Doctor Who, both are plagiarized. We’ll call it a tie between John Toon’s The Death of the Author and Anton B’s The Society of the Spectacle.
The Actually Sincere Attempt at a Story Title division has but one prize, AuntyJack’s pleasantly unnerving The Sigil of Xanthus. A round of applause to AuntyJack for being one of only a few entrants to actually attempt a title of that quality.
Next we have our Doctor Who In Jokes division. Bronzes goes to thingsiambotheredby’s proposal The Evil of the Chumblies, with an honorable mention for James V’s proposed modification Remembrance of the Chumblies. Ferret’s modification of Joel Phillips’s suggestion The Machine of the Gods, The ??/??? of the WiFi gets the silver. While the division winner is Jane’s The New Men of Sydney, a modification of Lewis Christian’s The H of Christopher Bidmead.
In a closely related award, the prize for “best use of the definite article” goes to IG’s The Catharsis of the Spurious Morality.
Which brings us to our general classification.
In third place, Tony Macklin’s The Heat of the Moment.
In second, Matthew Blanchette’s The Passion of the Anoraks, a modification of EarBucket’s The Passion of the Christ.
And our winner. This posed a problem, because I, somewhat foolishly, intervened slightly in one post, noting that I could see a modification that would improve it. That post was prandeamus’s The Anagram of the Master, which HarlequiNQB realized would be improved with The Anagram of the Stream, or, actually, even better than my idea, The Stream of Anagrams. So free ebooks to prandeamus, HarlequiNQB, and, apparently, myself.
Which is, of course, terribly unfair, so I’ll just declare a second winning entry and give a set of ebooks to Ununnilium for the equally brilliant The Kyriarchy of the Daleks.
Congratulations to all three winners – send me an e-mail and I’ll get your ebooks to you.
I know several of you already have a set of ebooks. If you like the books are easily giftable, so go ahead and take them and use them that way. Alternatively, if you want to pass them along, you may opt to pick a winner of your own. Just let me know and I’ll send books to them instead.
This was great fun. Thank you all for playing.
Prole Hole
June 11, 2013 @ 1:06 am
For some reason I didn't read this until way too late but I can't beliee nobody suggested The Inevitability of The Daleks.
Still, excellent titles all!
Reinder Dijkhuis
June 11, 2013 @ 1:38 am
I think The Death of the Author would work as a Big Finish play or a webcomic tribute, as would The Heat of the Moment.
Which reminds me, I really need to get back to writing Renegade of the Daleks so I can get my Hurt-Doctor story out before November 23…
Wm Keith
June 11, 2013 @ 1:40 am
This was an interesting variation on The Prisoner's Dilemma (The Dilemma of the Prisoner) because, if everyone except the first commentator had cooperated and simply modified the previous entry, according to the published rules everyone would have won.
Ewa Woowa
June 11, 2013 @ 2:00 am
Kick… smash…
It's a flippin' fix!
storms off…
Anton B
June 11, 2013 @ 2:08 am
Yaay! I won a no-prize and in the Literary Theory section too! I like to think 'The Society of The Spectacle' would be about a secret cadre of space-opticians trying to retrieve Amy's glasses.
Wm Keith
June 11, 2013 @ 2:38 am
Tagline: This Hurt's Me More Than This Hurt's You
Prole Hole
June 11, 2013 @ 3:00 am
I Hurt myself today to see if I still feel…
John Toon
June 11, 2013 @ 3:03 am
Everybody's Hurt sometimes.
AuntyJack
June 11, 2013 @ 3:28 am
Thanks Phil – much obliged. I'll put my prize up next to my Crypto-Anthropology Doctorate from Miskatonic U.
BTW – Hello all, I've been watching Doctor Who and lurking here since the respective Pertwee eras.
It took me that long to figure out I could use my Google account to post. Go figure.
I'd like to see a decent Hammer pastiche episode titled Bride of Borusa, though.
Reinder Dijkhuis
June 11, 2013 @ 3:40 am
Stop that or I Will Make You Hurt.
Spacewarp
June 11, 2013 @ 3:41 am
That's a whole different game. Modify the previous poster's entry by one word.
Spacewarp
June 11, 2013 @ 3:42 am
Pastiche of recent blockbuster film? "The Hurt Doctor"
I'll get my coat…
doktorvox
June 11, 2013 @ 3:57 am
That's a whole different game. Modify the previous poster's credo by one word.
Lewis Christian
June 11, 2013 @ 3:59 am
Ooh, two nods. Thanks π
Congrats to the winners!
Matthew Blanchette
June 11, 2013 @ 4:26 am
I placed! Twice! Hooray! π
Hope you three enjoy your shiny new e-books. π
Darren K.
June 11, 2013 @ 4:37 am
That's a whole different game. Mollify the previous poster's credo by one word.
Froborr
June 11, 2013 @ 4:46 am
Those butcher's apostrophes Hurt.
Froborr
June 11, 2013 @ 4:47 am
That's a whole different game. Mollify the previous poseur's credo by one word.
Prole Hole
June 11, 2013 @ 5:02 am
That's a holy different game. Mollify the previous poseur's credo by one word.
elvwood
June 11, 2013 @ 5:04 am
That's a whole different game. Mollify the following poseur's credo by one word.
Theonlyspiral
June 11, 2013 @ 5:11 am
That's a whole different game. Mollify the following poseur's credo by one vocable.
Anton B
June 11, 2013 @ 5:16 am
That's a whole different name. Mollify the following poseur's credo by one vocable.
Lewis Christian
June 11, 2013 @ 5:16 am
Baby Don't Hurt Me
Josiah Rowe
June 11, 2013 @ 6:04 am
That's a whole different name. Mollify the following poseur's credo without one vocable.
Dave
June 11, 2013 @ 6:55 am
This won't Hurt a bit.
BerserkRL
June 11, 2013 @ 6:57 am
Hurt's So Good.
Dave
June 11, 2013 @ 6:57 am
That's a whole referent name. Mollify the following poseur's credo without one vocable.
BerserkRL
June 11, 2013 @ 7:01 am
I have a confession to make. Beginning in the 80s, when I wasn't watching the show (I'd only seen the Tom Baker era) and continuing on into the 90s and early 2000s, I had Jon Pertwee's name attached to Peter Davison's face. (I don't mean I forcibly tattooed him.)
Theonlyspiral
June 11, 2013 @ 8:08 am
You'll be in my Hurt.
James V
June 11, 2013 @ 12:42 pm
That was fun. We should do it again sometime!
Ununnilium
June 11, 2013 @ 1:51 pm
Eeeeeeeeee! <3 Man, I didn't think my pick was that awesome. (I also wasn't sure that I used "Kyriarchy" correctly.)
Bennett
June 11, 2013 @ 8:36 pm
That's a whole referent name. Mollycoddle the following poseur's credo without one vocable.
prandeamus
June 12, 2013 @ 2:02 am
My dear Doctor Sandifer, you have been Naive!
[Whips off disguise to reveal The Beard of Evil]
I thought it would stop, but it never does. Never, ever stops. Inside my head, the punning, Doctor Sandifer. The constant punning…
John Toon
June 12, 2013 @ 3:14 am
C'mon now people, it's time to take all these puns and put them away… in The Hurt Locker.
J Mairs
June 12, 2013 @ 3:36 am
I didn't want to interupt the above thread started by Wm Keith to say this – but you guyz!!
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard!
Tony Macklin
June 12, 2013 @ 4:43 am
The Despair of the Runner-up….(sobs).
Marionette
June 12, 2013 @ 10:03 am
Actually, I did. But my comment seems to have got eaten by Blogger.
Elizabeth Sandifer
June 12, 2013 @ 10:05 am
Just checked the spam trap – it's not there. π
Matthew Blanchette
June 12, 2013 @ 11:18 am
That's a whole referent name. Mollycoddle the following poseur's credo without singular vocable.
ferret
June 12, 2013 @ 7:46 pm
All I can say is Hoò?äy for Uni?ò??!
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