Comics Reviews (June 1st, 2016)
Announcements about the future of Comics Reviews at the end. For now, the usual.
Civil War II #1
I really try not to be that critic. You know – the one who says provocative things like “Bendis can’t write.” Because, i mean, he’s a tremendously popular and bankable writer, and his strengths are obvious. So let’s try this – Brian Michael Bendis sucks at modern comics serialization. Like, he is actively really fucking bad at it. Consider Civil War II, a comic in the middle of which the Free Comic Book Day Civil War II issue simply happens. Or, rather, doesn’t. You literally turn the page from the future-seeing Inhuman sayng “we have to call the Ultimates” to Tony Stark being told James Rhodes is dead. The entire Thanos fight happens in a several-weeks-ago comic. And there’s not even a caption box or anything. It’s just a page-turn and pow, a fight with Thanos has happened off-panel. There’s not even so much as a caption box, which I suppose makes sense, since what would they tell you? “Sorry, we took out the primary actual plot beat of this $6 comic and published it several weeks earlier. We’d tell you where to find it, but it was actually an issue we only distributed for one day and don’t even have a digital edition of, so basically, if you missed it, it sucks to be you.”
I mean, seriously, why the fuck would you even do this? All of Bendis, Alanna Smith, Tom Brevoort, Wil Moss, Axel Alonso, Joe Quesada, Dan Buckley, and Alan Fine presumably at some point signed off on the idea that their major summer event should be published like this. Why? I mean, not only is it profoundly reader-unfriendly, it doesn’t even read well. It outright feels like there are pages missing in the comic.
Past that… they fridge a woman and a black man. Nothing happens that hasn’t been spoiled extensively in interviews for months. (Actually, that’s not quite true, but we’ll wait for the next review for that.) And again, the comic is six dollars. Six. Fucking. Dollars. An entire month of Netflix is only $2 more than that. Countless excellent novels are available at that price point. Whole CDs of music. I bet there are even markets where you can see Captain America: Civil War for that if you go for a matinee. Or you can buy a forty-page comic that’s missing its main story beat.
Invincible Iron Man #10
Oh, and it also casually spoils all the main plot beats of this arc. I mean, not that there’s any major suspense over whether the characters are going to make it out of this or what will happen to Tony’s company. That’s not how comics suspense works and never has been. But still, this issue neither seems to lead to Civil War II in any meaningful sense, and now Civil War II is here and proclaiming the status quo after the arc’s conclusion. Brilliant, Marvel. Fucking brilliant.…