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Comics Reviews (October 5th, 2016)

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Jessica Jones #1

An adequate first issue, although annoyingly hard to square away with Jessica Jones’s recent appearance in Spider-Man just a couple of weeks ago, which makes sense, as it’s obviously difficult for two writers to square up their plots in two different books, especially when there’s a major crossover going on that’s throwing all sorts of books out of sync. Oh wait, both books and the crossover are by the same writer who’s consistently a fucking trainwreck when it comes to this sort of thing. Anyway, it’s very “yes this is an issue of Alias Jessica Jones” that dumps a bunch of premise in a pile on the floor and promises to come back later and do something with it. Coin flip whether I bother to do so. 

Shade the Changing Girl #1

Good premise and good art, but nothing that’s quite sparking for me. The alien weirdness, not unlike Doom Patrol, feels a bit forced – like an homage to a particular style of comics zaniness rather than something that’s actually extending out of the creative team’s interests. I suspect this is going to be the crux of my problem with the Young Animals stuff – the sense that it’s mostly the borrowed fire of twenty year old comics done with a contemporary gloss. 

James Bond: Eidolon #10

An absolutely rock solid comic. Ellis moves his pieces around the board deliberately, with each of the scenes building tension and complexifying the situation until the final one, which gloriously upends everything and kicks the plot into high gear. Can’t wait for the denouement to all of this.

Shipwreck #1

Surreal, unsettling, and not entirely clear about what it’s doing yet. At the moment this seems to be Ellis in the same vein as Supreme: Blue Rose, but with Phil Hester in place of Tula Lotay. This means less avant garde art, but isn’t really a problem – Hester’s a rock solid and clear storyteller, and his jagged figures are haunted things that look like they staggered out of a fever dream. This is playing its cards close to the chest, and it’ll be a good few issues before it’s possible to declare for sure that it’s brilliant (remember how long Injection took to get to a boil?), but by all appearances it’s another triumph for late phase Ellis. …

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The Eruditorum Press Doctor Who Poll: 364-201

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And with the introductory sections done we finally get to things that at least two people voted for. This’ll be the last day to be overwhelmingly non-televised material as well. 

363: Doctor Who and the Fangs of Time (2 Point, 2 Non-Televised)

Wait, wasn’t this on yesterday’s list? Yes, briefly, until I noticed that in addition to the person who had entered the title as “Doctor Who and the Fangs of Doom” there was someone who’d voted for it correctly, meaning that it got two points and that I had to renumber half the damn entry. So this gets put last among the two-pointers because I now literally hate it more than anything that isn’t The Celestial Toymaker. 

362. Cuddlesome (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

One voter specified the Audio-Visuals version. While it would have been funny to put the story in the 120-way tie twice because of that, I didn’t.

361. They Say (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

Wack’d was sad yesterday that the bulk of his votes for stories by lyricwritesprose were in the big messy 121-way tie, so for the record, apparently “A Problem of Background,” “Boxing Day,” “Lies Told to Children,” and “See Ye Not That Bonny Road” are also good. (Addendum: Apparently Wack’d wasn’t one of the voters for this one.)

360. Because We Want To (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

I’d somehow never seen this before. It’s genuinely astonishing how much of the Russell T Davies era is accurately anticipated by it.

359: Borrowed Time (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

One vote specified that this was for the novel. The other didn’t, and there’s technically a comic story with the same title, but I’m going to guess they meant the novel too.

358: Fear of the Dark (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

357: The Feast of the Drowned (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

356: The Fourth Wall (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

Nobody specified whether they meant the Big Finish story or the comic story, but as I remember banging on to someone or other about how obvious an idea using the Boneless in comics was, I decided it gets to be the comics story.

355: The Red Lady (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

354: The Spectre of Lanyon Moor (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

353: The Two Masters (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

352: The Dead Line (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

351: The Cruel Sea (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

350: The Cold Equations (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

349: Legend of the Cybermen (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

348: Something Inside (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

347: The Last Doctor (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

346: The Council of Nicaea (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

345: The Church and the Crown (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

344: The Cabinet of Light (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

343: Sympathy for the Devil (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

342: Prisoner of the Daleks (2 Points, 2 Non-Televised)

I was more than slightly releived, when Googling for the link there, that I was wrong and this was not the Dalek porn thing, which is called Abducted by the Daleks.…

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“I’m not myself, you see”: Alice no Paint Adventure, Umihara Kawase

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And so I return to Wonderland. Because, it would seem, all ways bring me back here.

Alice in Wonderland (by which I mean Lewis Carroll’s two novels and the assorted iconography surrounding them), collectively, is my favourite story. There is literally no time I can recall in which I wasn’t profoundly shaped and influenced by Alice, or which I didn’t view my life through a lens ground from the philosophy of her story. Even those parts of my life that could have potentially occurred before I first read Alice, I now understand within the context of Alice. And Alice must have always been there, partially because Alice is part of the cosmic cultural background radiation we are all exposed to from birth, but also because I know she was. And Alice is not an it. Alice is a she.

I have previously (perhaps infamously, for longtime followers of my writing) attempted to explore and explain my experiences with video games and my understanding of their logic alongside my experience with Alice by comparing them. Probably bit off a bit more than I could chew with that one, but that’s something to grapple with in another time and another place. But Alice and games and Alice games provide a useful metaphor of a sort, in particular, the fact that a great deal of them are some manner of abortive. Of course, I am a perfectionist and have my own visions of things, and perhaps you can just chalk all of that up to me being impossible to satisfy when it comes to something like this. And that may be true: I am, after all, quite mad. But my madness is irreducible from my positionality, and my positionality is irreducible from my creative work. That’s sort of how this all works.

In 1995, there was an Alice in Wonderland game made exclusively for the Super Famicom. Developed by SAS Sakata and published by Epoch, Alice no Paint Adventure was based on the 1951 Disney Animated Canon adaptation of the story. First things first, however, I must mount a brief but necessary defense of this movie because a whole lot of Alice aficionados and Carrollians utterly despise it along with, somewhat surprisingly, a lot of Disney fans and historians. Carrollians see it as the ultimate example of “Americanization”, and you see an awful lot of teeth gnashing about its departures from the “canon text” (the idea of an Alice in Wonderland canon is even more self-evidently preposterous than canon in general already is) and pearl-clutching about fears people (read: people less intelligent and cultured than Carrollians) will get their first and primary exposure to this story through this movie, which will in turn displace the books.

What’s especially curious about this argument is the fact that in order for a movie to completely displace a book, one would think it would have to be wildly more successful than the book. For that to happen, the movie would have to be successful at all. Which the 1951 Alice in Wonderland was decidedly not.…

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The Eruditorum Press Doctor Who Poll Results: The One Point Club

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Today we get the vast swath of the list that clocked in at exactly one point. The overwhelming majority of these are things that got exactly one vote, and indeed one vote off of the non-televised section. Indeed, if you want to jump straight to televised stuff, skip ahead to 382nd place. Also, I should admit that my tie-breaking ranking in these lower recesses of the charts is less careful than my adjudication of the larger extremes, generally based on mild whimsy. Which also brings us to the one tie of the poll – the one point non-televised stories that I was sufficiently unfamiliar with or indifferent to that I had no views whatsoever on what their order should be. But before that we have a one point non-televised story that I felt strongly should come in below all of them. 

626: Death Comes to Time (1 Point, 1 Non-Televised)

Yes, yes. I wish you’d thought to downvote it too. Which brings us to our tie.

507: 118-Way Tie (1 Point, 1 Non-Televised)

That’s a tie among A Good Dalek, A Groatsworth of Wit, A Problem of Background by Lyricwritesprose, Almost Perfect, Beautiful Freak, Born again, Boxing Day, Brave New Town, Children of the Revolution, City of the Damned, Cloud of Fear, Corner of the Eye, Cradle of the Snake, Crusade, Dead of Winter, Death And The Queen, Death Takes a Holiday, Death’s Deal, Deep Time, Devious, Doctor Who Quiz Book of Dinosaurs, Dreams of Empire, Ecce Medicus Donnaque!, Fade Away, Fall to Earth, Flight of the Darned, Gods and Monsters, Grand Theft Cosmos, Ground Zero, Hiccups, Jago & Litefoot: Beautiful Things , Kingdom of Silver/Keepsake, Lies Told to Children, Master of Spiders, Night of the Whisper, Night Thoughts, Nothing at the End of the Lane, Now or Therabouts, Oblivion, Only the Monstrous, Outrage of the Zygons, Paper Cuts, People Used to Dream About the Future, Picnic at Asgard, Pitter-Patter, Pull to Open, Pureblood, Revolution Man, Rise and Fall, Robot Gladiators (The K-9 series’ only appearance in the poll), Second Chances, See Ye Not That Bonny Road, Sisters of the Flame/ Vengeance of Morbius, Son Of The Dragon, Space in Dimensions Relative and Time, Survival of the Fittest, Technophobia, Terry Nation’s Dalek comics, That video of Phil playing Soldeed that was offered as a Kickstarter bonus, The 12 Doctors Play DDR, The Auton Stratagem, The Autonomy Bug, The Brood of Erys, The Claws of Santa, The Crossroads of Time, The Crystal Conundrum, The Cybermen, The Dalek Chronicles, The Dalek Factor, The Death of Death, The Demons of Red Lodge and Other Stories, The Doctor and the Dalek, The Doctor Trap, The Doomwood Curse, The Eleven, The Eleven-Day Empire / The Shadow Play, The Eleventh Doctor: Conversion, The Elixir of Doom, The End of the World (the Big Finish story, as opposed to the television one), The Golden Ones, The Hero of Three Faces, The House of the Dead, The Indestructible Man, The Last, The Last Day, The Last Dodo, The Last Post, The Lost Ones, The Monsters Inside, The Nameless City, The Never Was, The Pair o’ Docs Paradox, The Reaping, The Resurrection Casket, The Scapegoat, The Shadow Planet, The Ship of a Billion Years, The Sleep of Reason, The Sontaran Ordeal, The Stalker of Norfolk, The Stockbridge Showdown, The Tomorrow Windows, Infernal Devices, The Way through the Woods, The Weeping Angels of Mons, The Widow’s Assassin, The Worlds of Doctor Who, Things They Talked About in the Playground, Time Reaver, Trading Futures, Twice Upon a Timelord, UNIT: Extinction, Urgent Calls, Valhalla, Vampire of the Mind, We Are The Daleks, Wirrn Isle, and Yellow Fever And How to Cure It. As you’ve noticed, I’m not linking those for you.…

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The Eruditorum Press Doctor Who Poll Results: The Bad Stuff

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Super Nintendo Project will be along later this week. But I’ll also be gradually rolling out the results of our anniversary poll over the course of the week. All told there are a total of 761 stories on the list, compiled from 380 ballots.  We kick off today with Colin Baker’s least favorite section of it, the stuff that got downvoted such that it finished with 0 or fewer points. Before we start, though, a note about tiebreaks. Basically, there are two that were applied. The first is “what got the most regular votes,” on the logic that a story with a broader base of people who like it enough to vote for it is more popular than one that got the same score on the back of first-place votes. This also means that at a given point tally the Marmite stories that got a lot of downvotes do better than the uncontroversial ones, and that televised stories generally do better than ones that got their point tallies mostly from the extra votes for non-televised stories. The second tiebreak is my personal preference, because it’s my site and that matters.

Right. On to the results. Today we’ll count up instead of down, finishing with your all-time most hated Doctor Who story. Which means that we start with the stories that broke even at zero points, upvoted and downvoted in equal proportion, and within that start with the most contestedly Marmite of the bunch. Which means that in 629th place is…

627: The Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords (0 Points, 1 First Place, 17 Downvotes)

628: Invasion of the Dinosaurs (0 Points, 1 Last Place, 3 Downvotes)

629: The Taking of Chelsea 426 (0 points, 1 Last Place, 1 Downvote)

630: Planet of Evil (0 Points, 1 Last Place)

631: Nightmare of Eden (0 Points, 3 Downvotes)

632: Revenge of the Cybermen (0 Points, 3 Downvotes)

633: The Keys of Marinus (0 Points, 3 Downvotes)

634: Colony in Space (0 Points, 2 Downvotes)

635: Into the Dalek (0 Points, 2 Downvotes)

636: The Underwater Menace (0 Points, 1 Downvote)

“I got an episode recovered for this?” 

637: Four to Doomsday (0 Points, 1 Downvote)

638: Planet of Fire (0 Points, 1 Downvote)

639: Engines of War (0 Points, 3 Non-Televised Votes, 1 Last Place)

640: Omega (0 Points, 1 Non-Televised, 1 Downvote)

641: The Stones of Venice (0 Points, 1 Non-Televised, 1 Downvote)

642: An Adventure in Space and Time (0 Points, 1 Non-Televised, 1 Downvote)

643: Dancing the Code (0 Points, 1 Non-Televised, 1 Downvote)

644: The Ghosts of N-Space (0 Points, 1 Non-Televised, 1 Downvote)

Next we have the only tfour televised stories to fail to get a single vote in any direction. Two are unsurprising given that they’re both completely missing, and another’s close to totally gone. One, on the other hand, is a frankly bizarre omission. But since it would be weird to have a list with four televised stories not included…

645: The Faceless Ones (0 Points, No Votes Whatsoever)

646: The Krotons (0 Points, No Votes Whatsoever)

647: The Savages (0 Points, No Votes Whatsoever)

648: The Smugglers (0 Points, No Votes Whatsoever)

Now we move on to the stuff that’s more hated than loved, starting with a story that came in 24th in Doctor Who Magazine‘s 50th Anniversary Poll.…

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Last Call for the Eruditorum Press Doctor Who Poll

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Just a reminder that I’ll be turning off submissions for the Eruditorum Press Doctor Who Poll in twelve hours, so if you want to register your vote you should probably go do that.

Also, as we enter October and near the launch day for Class, it’s worth noting that the Eruditorum Press Patreon is still $16 shy of where I’ll be doing reviews of it. So if you’re not a supporter, now’s a great time to become one. …

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Tricky Dicky, Part 9: Margaret on the Bonfire

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The only point having a character in a story make a prophecy is so that it can come true – unless the story is specifically about fake or failed prophecies. 

We talked (a lot) last time about Queen Margaret in the First Tetralogy.  Her main role in the last play of the cycle, Richard III, is to foretell the future.  She predicts, more or less accurately, the fates of all her tormentors.  When she tells Buckingham that he will one day rue his alliance with Richard, she tells him:

…remember this another day,

When he shall split thy very heart with sorrow,

And say poor Margaret was a prophetess!

…which is, of course, exactly what happens. 

In a recursive moment – which anticipates the way the witches in Macbeth turn cause-and-effect into a moebius strip – Buckingham fulfills Margaret’s prophecy by quoting it from his own memory, while waiting in one of Richard’s cells to be executed.  The comparison with Macbeth’s witches or weird sisters is apt as, in her role as a prophet of doom, Margaret takes on the role of a witch.  Richard calls her “foul wrinkled witch” in response to her accusations.  This is ironic, given Margaret’s own history of conspiring with her lover, Suffolk, to dispose of her enemy, Duke Humphrey’s wife Eleanor, by enticing her to indulge in witchcraft and then expose her (see Henry VI, Part 2).  Nor is this the only time that Richard – who has issues with the ladies, as we know – uses witchcraft as an accusation for his own political gains.  Later in the play that bears his name he disposes of Hastings, an obstacle in his path to the throne, by accusing his (Hastings’) mistress of being a witch and alleging that she and the queen have conspired to put a spell on him (Richard).  This is at least partly owing to Richard’s deeply ingrained misogyny as a character.  But the discourse and ideology of witchcraft is to hand before he picks it up. 

There are reasons why a patriarchal culture would develop and utilise the figure of an elderly woman as a vengeful seer.  Amongst other things, and purely in terms of the genealogy of tropes, there is the figure of the tragic and lamenting female that traces a lineage back ancient tragedy.  (Richard III is a play particularly influenced by the tragedies of Seneca, which made use of this trope.)  That begs the question somewhat, but we’ll leave it there.  There are the usual ways in which elderly women are used as liminal figures within texts created within patriarchy.  But there’s more.  We need to look at some of the political valences of prophecy in Early Modern England.  In that time and place, prophecy was linked to both witchcraft and revolution. 

It’s widely known that Shakespeare wrote Macbeth partly to appeal to his new king and patron, James I of England and VI of Scotland.  It’s a play with Scottish themes, obviously, and James was a Scot.…

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Comics Reviews (September 28th, 2016)

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The Ultimates #11

A perfectly serviceable issue marred by two very big problems. The first is, as ever, Civil War II, which is still terrible and still forcing people to give utterly dreadful monologues. The second, as if not ever at least for the last couple issues, is the art-sharing, which this time switches back and forth every couple pages between two artists with radically different styles in the most distracting way imaginable. This could be a good book, by which I mean it’s a great time, a great premise, and a great writer. I really wish Marvel would let it be instead of whacking it in the kneecaps like this. 

Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur #11

A slightly disjointed issue that relies on Moon Girl being an idiot about several things in rapid succession for reasons that don’t feel particularly motivated. A sequence in which a supportive message from Ms. Marvel gets arbitrarily destroyed so that Moon Girl doesn’t get it is particularly grating in its clumsiness, but really the whole thing is just frustratingly inelegant. 

Snotgirl #3

First properly disappointing issue of this – Lottie’s aggressively awful nature ends up dominating the issue to the point where investing in much of anything within it is impossible, and the late-issue revelations are not so much revelations as incomprehensibilities to be explained later. Deeply alienating characters are fine. So is “I’ll explain later.” The combination is a tough sell. 

New Avengers #16

Al Ewing uses a nine-panel grid for a scene that consists almost entirely of Tippy-Toe talking to rats, with dialogue such as “neek… Neeek neek” and “chtt! Chitty chutt chtt!” As far as I’m concerned, this is Eisner-worthy, not least as the result is that the rats take militant strike action in the face of Squirrel Girl’s more socialist way of dealing with her vermin assistants. The rest of the book is good too. Only the fact that the cover contains a scene that does not happen or come close to happening disappoints.

Surgeon X #1

Karen Berger’s deservedly hyped return to comics is sharp and angry in the way that the best Vertigo work was, but falls a bit short of essential due to a tendency towards flatness. Sara Kenney’s dialogue doesn’t quite sparkle, John Watkiss’s art is capable but unremarkable, and there’s just not any moments where this kicks into high gear despite being long on potential. Adequate, in short, which is better than most comics, but not what you hope for from “edited by Karen Berger.” 

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #12

Typical Squirrel Girl fun, including a pleasantly ridiculous new villain and the return of Brain Drain, which I’d call long-awaited if I’d actually remembered he was a thing that could appear in a comic book, but now that I remember he exists he’s utterly delightful in that Ryan North sort of way. 

 

Nighthawk #5

And sure enough, this is cancelled. Still brilliant though. I suppose it would be silly to jump in at #5, but this is getting a trade in January, and I really do recommend having a look at it, as it remains an absolutely essential bit of superhero comics in 2016. …

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Permanent Saturday: Paging Mr. Ducky-White Courtesy Telecan, Please

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With deepest apologies to Chris Stangl, Permanent Saturday is a semiregular critical exploration of Jim Davis’ comic strips Garfield and U.S. Acres/Orson’s Farm.

Wade Duck is a pantophobe. Or rather, this is how the other animals on the farm see him: As a sad, pathetic soul who has an irrational fear of everything. And indeed, when Orson’s Farm is adapted for Saturday Morning Cartoon TV as the backup segment of Garfield and Friends, the series gets a great deal of mileage out of this concept. One of the show’s most iconic and defining motifs is having Wade, perfectly voiced by the legendary Howie Morris, hilariously overreacting to any number of insignificant things, ranging from caterpillars to caraway seeds to jelly doughnuts. Sometimes, wildly implausible things, like finding a band of bagpipe players hiding in the closet, or “being attacked by talking flashlight batteries during a potato race”.

But that’s not quite an apt description of the Wade who appears in the actual Orson’s Farm comic strip. Wade as written by Jim Davis is indeed afraid of most everything, but there’s a critical difference here: Wade is afraid of literally everything because literally everything has his number. Wade is a cosmic plaything akin to Wile E. Coyote except on an even grander and more exaggerated scale: The laws of nature and the very logic of narrative will warp, contort and distend in grotesque ways in order to make sure that Wade Duck and Wade Duck in particular suffers. Wade will sing “Home on the Range” and get attacked by the animals and objects in the song, because fuck Wade Duck. Booker and Sheldon will build a pretend set of train tracks out of sticks and, through pure accident, summon. an actual train that will collide with innocent bystander Wade head on because fuck Wade Duck. Wade will slide down a slide, then reverse direction and slide back up the slide and get launched into orbit in complete defiance of every law of gravitational physics because fuck Wade Duck.

It’s like what they always say about paranoia. It’s not really paranoia if everything actually is trying to kill you.
 
The choice of the telephone for this strip is therefore somewhat deceptive at first glance, as all great Garfield and Orson’s Farm jokes ultimately are. A common, everyday household object, Wade’s evident dread of it seems like a typical Garfield and Friends gag: Silly Wade is afraid of completely innocent and inoffensive things. And this would make sense, especially as, given the mid August 1988 publication date (and even accommodating for the strips’ lengthy advance writing), while Garfield and Friends would not have yet been on the air, it was almost certainly late in development and Jim Davis and Brett Koth absolutely knew everything that was going on as it got closer to launch. But there are a number of different ways we could read this: Perhaps, since Jim Davis originally conceived of Orson’s Farm as a way to affectionately satirize his childhood growing up on a rural Indiana farm, Wade is being naive and provincial.
…

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The Automap is Not the Territory (Doom)

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There are two other Philips in my family, and both are intimately linked with Doom. My uncle got the game for me – one of his periodic gestures towards doing end-runs around my parents’ rules on media consumption. (The same uncle who got my parents Soulblazer, notably, an amusing case of the opposite process.) He made sure to emphasize the chainsaw, which I appreciated, as it was self-evidently the game’s most brilliantly transgressive option. Come to think of it, he exposed me to Evil Dead 2 somewhere in the vicinity of this too. Heh.

My grandfather, on the other hand, died of Alzheimer’s while I was failing to beat the final boss of Doom 2 one day, my father coming into the computer room and putting a hand on my shoulder until I paused the game and just told me “it’s over,” and all I remember after that is not crying, and then a minute or so later hearing my four-year-old sister start to.

I came back to the game a few hours later, just before bed. I don’t know why I didn’t just quit out – some sort of private and symbolic gesture, I imagine. I died in seconds in any case, screaming, my flesh burning and shredded apart by a Mancubus or something similar. I wonder if that’s a better way to go than Alzheimer’s. It’s more painful, obviously, but it’s also quicker and doesn’t have any awkward moments where your twelve-year-old grandson has to chase you down a busy road and try to convince you that your wife isn’t having an affair with the cleaning lady and that you should probably come home. So a toss-up, I reckon.

This was in 1996, at the start of ninth grade, which was by no means a good year for me. My grades faltered, largely because I couldn’t be bothered to do homework. I went through the worst patch of bullying of my life, and got the dubious honor of being my town’s first victim of cyberbullying. (The school did OK with it, actually, largely because my parents were tenacious as fuck about it.) The incident I remember with the most vividness was blowing up, full out screaming at a science teacher after school. He was an old and grizzled veteran of a high school teacher and just shrugged it off, and I went home and nothing more was said, but I knew then how close I’d skirted to major fucking trouble, and the years since have only made me more glad it was only 1996 and schools still erred on the side of caution with angry young men.

Doom, after all, was at the scene of another death in the 1990s. Fifteen of them, in fact, in Littleton Colorado, less than an hour from where my Uncle Phil lives. The Columbine massacre is a curious cultural moment. It was not the first school shooting by any measure, although it was at the time the deadliest. But the extent to which it captured the imagination is still slightly uncanny in comparison.…

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