radical, gamebreaking politics for a group that’s struggling with the basic right to fucking exist
Being aro/ace is queer. End of story! To say that anyone who’s not cishet normative doesn’t belong at the queer “table” (as if being queer were some kind of banquet, Hannibal?) doesn’t really understand what it is to be queer at all. So let’s pick up the harp and let’s dance.
“radical”: late 14c., in a medieval philosophical sense, from Late Latin radicalis “of or having roots,” from Latin radix (genitive radicis) “root” (see radish ). Meaning “going to the origin, essential” is from 1650s.
Here’s what being queer, in any sense, often entails:
- corrective rape
- pedagogical erasure
- unacceptance of one’s non-normative relationships
- othering in mainstream media
- medical stigmatization, discrimination, even “conversion”
- unsafe to “come out” to partners, families, community and colleagues and so forth, and yet “coming out” is essential to being authentic
In other words, nothing nice.
These are all things that ace people have experienced. These are all things that gays and lesbians have experienced. These are all things that bisexuals have experienced. These are all things that trans people have experienced. These are all things that intersexed people have experienced. Why? Because we’re all queer. Because we all deviate from the expectations of straight people.
————————————————————
I’m a big fan of etymology. It’s a way of getting to the root of a word, of seeing where it came from. Because of course words change over the eons. “Nice” for example derives from Latin nescius “ignorant, unaware,” literally “not-knowing,” from ne– “not” + stem of scire “to know” (see science). And then it changed to “timid,” then “fastidious,” then “precise” and “careful” and “delicate” before becoming “agreeable” and “kind” and “thoughtful.” Over time, it’s been turned inside-out, polarity reversed and all that. What a queer word!
“Queer” is the perfect word to describe the history of “nice.” “Queer” derives from the c.1500, “strange, peculiar, eccentric” from Scottish, perhaps from Low German (Brunswick dialect) queer “oblique, off-center,” related to German quer “oblique, perverse, odd,” from Old High German twerh “oblique,” from PIE root *terkw– “to turn, twist, wind.” Huh, looks like we got something in common with twerking, too.
Oblique, off-center, turned… in other words, not straight. This is the geometry of being queer, or perhaps the square root of it to be particularly nerdish, and with particular thanks to Harper’s Etymological dictionary.
So what does building solidarity look like? Damn, it looks like looking in the mirror, I think! Conversely, what does excluding aro/ace from queerdom look like? It looks like, I dunno, like saying that because someone under the queer umbrella has an easier time of passing for straight we might as well just pretend that they’re straight? It’s like demanding someone stay in the closet.
That’s what we all have in common. The damn closet, from late 14c. French closet “small enclosure, private room,” diminutive of clos “enclosure,” from Latin clausum “closed space, enclosure, confinement,” from neuter past participle of claudere “to shut”. In Matt. vi:6 it renders Latin cubiculum “bedchamber, bedroom,” Greek tamieion “chamber, inner chamber, secret room;” thus originally in English “a private room for study or prayer.”…